(2) Evidence has been found that William
Tell and his family were avid
bowlers. However, all the Swiss league
records were unfortunately destroyed in a
fire, so we'll never know for whom the
Tells bowled.

(3) A man rushed into a busy doctor's
office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm
shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded,
"Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a
little patient."

(4) A marine biologist developed a race
of genetically engineered dolphins that could
live forever if they were fed a steady diet
of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds
ran out so he had to go out and trap some
more. On the way back, he spied two
lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake
them, he gingerly stepped over
them. Immediately, he was arrested and
charged with transporting gulls across
sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

(5) Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch
Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce
other products and, since they already made
the cases for watches, they used them to
produce compasses. The new compasses were
so bad that people often ended up in Canada
or Mexico rather than California. This, of
course, is the origin of the
expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!"

(6) A thief broke into the local police
station and stole all the toilets and
urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson
was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely
nothing to go on."

(7) An Indian chief was feeling very
sick, so he summoned the medicine man.
After a brief examination, the medicine man
took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide
and gave it to the chief, telling him to
bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of
the leather every day. After a month, the
medicine man returned to see how the
chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and
said, "The thong is ended, but the
malady lingers on."

(8) A famous Viking explorer returned home
from a voyage and found his name missing from
the town register. His wife insisted on
complaining to the local civic official
who apologized profusely saying, "I must
have taken Leif off my census."

(9) There were three Indian squaws. One
slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk
skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus
skin. All three became pregnant, and the first
two each had a baby boy. The one who slept
on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys.
This goes to prove that the squaw of the
hippopotamus is equal to the sons of
the squaws of the other two hides.

(10) A skeptical anthropologist was
cataloging South American folk remedies with
the assistance of a tribal brujo who
indicated that the leaves of a particular fern
were a sure cure for any case of
constipation. When the anthropologist
expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in
the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with
fronds like these, who needs enemas?"